Being Whole.
by Nicholas de Castella
Emotional healing is
about becoming whole. We have lost touch with the
experience of wholeness through the suppression of
incomplete emotional experiences. Our emotions are a
great source of personal power and energy, they provide
us with a wisdom that assists us in knowing what we want,
and what is right for us.
The sad fact is that we
live in a culture that shames the expression of emotion
and teaches denial invalidation and suppression.
In shutting down we
begin to fragment our being. We lose touch with our sense
of who we are, our essence. We become stiff, rigid and
'frozen' in our physical body, ways of thinking and
expressing our selves. We lose our sense of aliveness,
creativity, spontaneity and freedom. As we shut down on
one emotion, say anger, we lose our capacity to feel all
of them - including joy, peace and love.
There are many reasons
for the suppression of emotions: Sometimes the intensity
experienced has been too much for us to integrate at the
time, for example a child in birth can be overwhelmed by
the intensity of fear, sadness or anger. In this case the
brain sets up 'gates' which limit the intensity of
feeling possible at the time.
We have been trained to
suppress emotion. We are told that children should be
'seen and not heard', 'not to answer back', 'to do what
we are told' and to 'be polite'. In our culture we up
hold the false image that being strong means not being
emotional; not crying at funerals, not getting
angry...
Shame is another reason
for not expressing emotions. We may have been told that
we were 'being emotional', 'too sensitive' or laughed at
when we were angry, scared or sad. Often boys are called
wimps, weaklings, or babies if they cry, and chickens or
scaredy cats if they are afraid and girls are called
bitches, nasty or catty if they express their
anger.
The suppression of
emotions was often necessary to avoid experiencing more
pain. This is true for most children being reprimanded.
If they express their anger about being hurt they would
most likely be punished more severely.
We may be blocked to
natural feeling responses by beliefs or philosophies that
we carry about ourselves or life. For instance; a person
who is being abused may not feel angry about the abuse
because they subconsciously believe that they deserve
that kind of treatment: it fits with their self image
created in their abusive childhood. Somebody else may not
feel angry when they are being abused because they were
taught to 'turn the other cheek', 'to be bigger than
that', or 'to rise above it'.
It was often sensible
for us to suppress ourselves as children, but the problem
for many adults is that we can not access our emotions
when we want to. For example; when we want to share our
feelings with a loved one; when we are trying to discover
our passion in life; when we need to call on our anger if
some one is threatening to abuse us; when we need to let
go of the loss of a lover and cannot connect to the
grief; when we go for a job interview and we need to
express enthusiasm etc.
The suppression of
emotions does not mean the freedom from them. As we
suppress the expression of emotional energy it builds up
in our body. Our energy becomes knotted and tight. In
place of fully felt emotions we often experience states
of frustration, confusion, hopelessness, anxiety,
nervousness, 'stuckness' or blankness. I believe that
many illness' physical, mental, and emotional are related
to the breaking out of emotional energies that have built
up in our bodies. Our addictions (eating, drinking,
smoking, over working, co-dependent relationships etc.)
are unconscious attempts to either hold down the
unexpressed energies, or to fill the emptiness caused by
our loss of sense of self (through the suppression of our
emotional energy).
The healing is in the
feeling. Fear, sadness and anger are innate to human
experience. To be whole we need to embrace these 'darker'
aspects of life. Healing then involves reclaiming and
releasing the emotions that we have suppressed. As the
emotional energy from these experiences is released we
automatically strengthen our confidence in who we are and
feel more vividly the oneness and wealth of love and
energy that is naturally us.
As we release the
backlog of suppressed emotions we free up the energy used
to hold emotions in suppression. We gain energy in our
everyday lives.
Experiences of
aliveness, freedom and lightness are common for those who
are exploring the healing power of emotional
expression.
The Power of Presence
Seminar is designed to create safe, non judgmental,
supportive and honouring spaces: to gain greater
understandings of our emotions: to connect with our
feelings: to open up our passion: to complete our
incomplete experiences: to connect with our full energy
and our sense of who we are and to teach us how to bring
our full being into rich, intimate, satisfying and
mutually honouring relationships with each
other.
During the Course
participants learn 'Heart-skills' to implement in their
everyday lives that lead to increased experiences of
heart opening and enjoyment of life.
Nicholas de Castella,
President of The Australian Breathwork Foundation has
12years experience as a Breathwork practitioner. Founder
of Power of Presence Seminar (formerly Passionately Alive
Seminar) and author of 'Keys to Emotional Mastery', he
conducts Breathwork practitioner trainings, facilitates
weekly support group meetings and runs a private practice
in Clifton Hill, Melbourne, Victoria, Australia.
Ph 613 9739 8889.
Email:info@eq.net.au