Make Truth Not Peace Number
by Nicholas de
Truth is more important
than peace. You can get to peace through truth but you
can't get to truth through peace.
I believe that we came
here on earth not to make peace with ourselves nor our
neighbours but to release ourselves from the chains of
self-doubt, self-deception, compromise, and suppression
of our being. How often do we cast our truth aside and
settle for safety and loneliness by being non-threatening
- small, insignificant, and powerless?
Holding back our truth
to avoid conflict for the sake of temporary acceptance
and peace is dishonouring, betraying our integrity. This
creates feelings of worthlessness and self hatred. Often
the reason that we avoid expressing our truth is because
of our fear of rejection. The fear of rejection is really
a fear of feeling the wound that is already within us
(the sadness of being lost and marooned from the core of
our being). Feeling this wound is what we need to do to
heal! The withholding of truth only increases our loss of
self and hence increases our desperation for acceptance
and willingness to further compromise truth - setting up
a cycle which leads to ever increasing disconnection from
our sense of self.
We carry within our
bodies stored energies (emotions) which have been
suppressed from emotional experiences that we have not
fully expressed. Energy is always moving. To keep these
energies stored within us we need to brace our bodies (by
becoming stiff and rigid) or detach and distract our
attention from our truth (by being busy, in our heads
etc.) or dampen the energy (by overeating, drugs etc.).
These attempts to suppress our emotions are tiring, and
restrictive: keeping us bound in cages of separation from
love, feeling passionately alive, empowered and
We create experiences
(often called problems, annoyances, nuisances...) that
are going to give us an opportunity to feel and express
these blocked and locked energies. When we experience
these situations we often get scared of feeling our pain
and suppress the energy flow. Missing the point entirely,
we choose (mostly unconsciously) to avoid feeling our
pain by deflecting our attention away from ourselves
Blame is a denial of our
own creative ability and power and is an avoidance of our
responsibility. We blame the other person or the
situation or God or fate for hurting us or being cruel.
With a closed heart we channel emotional energy into
attack, or we withhold what we're feeling, bottling it up
in the form of resentment (to avoid conflict in favour of
outward peace). Both these responses lead to increases in
separation thus further increasing our own pain and
But the drama doesn't
stop there: At the deepest level we all want to be free
and whole, connected to ourselves, each other, and to
life. So we generate another experience that is going to
give us the opportunity to release the energy bound up in
our being. Only when we open our hearts, feel and grieve
our pain will we heal. The question is: "When are we
going to break the habit of blame, suppression, and
persecution and feel, honour, and EXPRESS our pain (the
pain of being suppressed, alone, inadequate, lost,
afraid, confused, and ashamed...) and open up to allow
others in so they can support us?".
The Truth Heals. I am
not referring to 'empirical truth' but an ever changing
truth of living the fully impassioned expression of my
being. Not a fixed eternal biblical truth but one that is
fresh and alive, changing in each moment, a truth that I
am usually so distracted from that I don't know exists.
It is so distant from my consciousness that I can't
access it even when I want to. The truth of what am I
feeling right now? What do I really want? What is my
purpose in life? What do I really want to say to my
lover, friends, and adversaries?
How do I connect with my
1. Connect with
yourself. Slow down by daily taking time out from the
distractions all around you, be still, go within and feel
yourself. Develop a strong sense of self so you can let
go of worrying about what others think about you and BE
YOU. You can't share your truth with anyone if you are
not in touch with yourself.
2. Find a safe place to
practice expressing your truth - gather people around you
who are willing to stick around in the face of the
passionate expression of your truth and get them to
express their truth to you.
3. Live passionately!
Express the truth of each moment fully - holding nothing
back . You not only need to say what you want to say, you
also need to EXPRESS the emotions that accompany it.
Truth is Energetic as well as Informational. You cannot
talk away your anger, sadness, fear or hopelessness.
Articulating and showing emotions are worlds
4. Stop deflecting your
pain into Blame. Stop blaming, abusing and attacking
others with your anger, especially when you are really
hurt. Use your anger to express your feelings with
vulnerability and openness of heart. When you are sad or
angry or scared say so.
5. The rule in
vulnerability is that someone has to be first. Don't wait
for the other person to be vulnerable before you will
6. Be willing to feel
and express your pain deeply. Resist the temptation to
flinch from your pain by closing your heart and
tightening your being. The only thing that will lead you
home to love and happiness is your truth, compromise will
only prolong your pain.
7. Commit to honouring
yourself by expressing your feelings and don't let your
fear stop you. Resolve incomplete relationships, they are
still hurting you. Take a risk by speaking your truth -
Pause right now and reflect: "I need to share my truth
The Passionately Alive Seminar is
fertile soil for the nurturing of the trust in the
healing power of truth.